the Wyse Hospital Ward

The kids – all three of them – have been sick this week. On the plus side, they are more or less sick at the same time. Sick-at-the-same-time has the advantage of being efficient. Unlike domino sickness, where one gets sick and then better just as number 2 gets sick and so on.

Fritz is missing a lot of work to take care of them. He says our house is a Hospital Ward this week. I guess if he has the day shift, we could say that I have the night shift. I haven't slept through the night in about 5 nights now. I'm awake 4-5 times a night. The joy of three (sick) kids. I guess it's a good thing that I'm not doing anything too critical at work.

Confession: I HAVE been slightly happy to leave the Wyse Hospital Ward each morning and head to the office. At the same time, I'm feeling impatient and perhaps even bored by the lack of urgency at work. I'm very task-oriented: whenever I start feeling like I'm just clocking in hours on the computer as opposed to doing SOMETHING IMPORTANT, I get frustrated. As the new person, it's not always easy to find meaningful and helpful work, you are (to a large extent) at the mercy of other people to grant you work/approve work. Hmmm...maybe after 10 years of managing a household, I have a little more project management expertise than I've admitted and I'm struggling with NOT being a manager. Trying not to step on toes. Beyond that, I do have a deep need for work of that has meaning and significance and importance. I'd be a horrible paper pusher. Note to self: I need a job that better uses this ambitious side of my personality in the long term.

I am trying, mostly, to be patient and not to jump to quick conclusions with regards to my job. I know that I have a great deal to learn, and I know that I can learn a lot where I am right now. On the other hand, I'm 40 years old and I'm not really into dilly-dallying my time away. One of my architecture friends tells me I just need to hold ONE job for ONE year, and then I cease to be newly-returned-to-the-work-force, and become just a regular person looking for a job. So that's my goal. Last a year, then re-evaluate. For the record, it might be a lot more difficult to follow this logic at 40 years old than it was at 28. I have stronger opinions, quicker judgement, and a lot more confidence in my ability to quickly and competently evaluate a situation.

Then again, maybe I'm just arrogant. (No, I'm not. Yes, I am.) Maybe my expectations are out of line (Probably. Or not. Yes, probably.) Okay. Being patient. While I dream about plans B, C and D, let us remember that I wasn't a big fan of running the Wyse Hospital Ward.