Thanksgiving without Turkey

The kids have this week off from school. I, sadly, have to work.

Although... not TOO sadly. I think this is all a really great opportunity for Fritz to spend more time with them. Noah confided to me the other day that, "Daddy is not as good as you at taking care of the kids when they fight." And I will add: the kids have been at an elevated level of fighting lately. I'm not sure if it is attributable to their poor health or, perhaps, my absence.

I'm trying NOT to be sucked into thinking that it's all about ME and MY ABSENCE.

One thing about being a stay-at-home mom is that I had so much control over my kids' lives and our household. We don't really tend to talk about SAHMs as being control freaks, but there are huge amounts of control that you give up when you drop your kids into someone else's hands for the day. And I think my presence was empowering for the kids, for a while, anyway. They had the ultimate security and safety to just be kids. I don't regret taking the time to set things up and get them moving in the right direction. I'm really proud of the way they've turned out: super creative, good problem-solvers, and independent. But I do think there's a point at which a parent needs to step back and let a child continue without such a strong safety net. And we reached that point.

For me, letting go of the control is also related to 1) being ready for my own pursuits and 2) having other people (Fritz) who can kinda step into my role. I am so lucky to have his support in going back to work. I do realize that not everyone is so lucky to have a partner willing to step up as much as Fritz has.

This year, for Thanksgiving, that is what I am thankful for more than anything else: a husband who is supporting me.

Fritz and I really started getting to know each other one Orphan Thanksgiving, in Portland, Oregon, fifteen years ago. We think of Thanksgiving fondly. But I will tell you: Thanksgiving since our children has not been nearly as fun as Thanksgiving before our children. So this year, we're thinking we might boycott the whole thing. Maybe we'll go hiking. Maybe we'll watch movies together. Maybe we'll eat peanut butter and jelly. But we will not (most likely) make a turkey. And we will not force the kids to sit around the table. And we will not spend all day cooking food that no kid eats.

The goal, this Thanksgiving, is to just enjoy being together. Especially since togetherness has become a little more precious this fall.