Lull

We reached a lull in an otherwise very busy month. I decided to suspend my custom sales in the Etsy store, and as a result (I guess) I have had very few orders. Then I almost felt bored (even though I was still doing laundry and washing dishes and sweeping the floors and making lemon bars with Trixie and breaking up squirmishes between the kids) and I thought maybe I should relist my custom products on Etsy. Then I mentioned something about this to Fritz and he said "No, please, no."

And so I didn't.

But I'm not good at relaxing, so then I sat down and started to blog.

We got a new dishwasher! Our last one was almost 8 years old. Fritz had pulled it apart to fix it twice, and one time it leaked all over the wood floors and ruined them. The second time he fixed it, it was not very fixed; such that we were washing the dishes before we put them in the dishwasher. We did the math and read the Whirlpool life span reviews and decided to cut our losses and buy a new dishwasher.

Now... there are 6 people living in this house (plus 2 cats), and we really, really use that dishwasher. I wanted something that truly washed and something that would last longer than 8 years, so I decided to spend more money on a dishwasher (and I used my architect discount) and we got a Miele. I'm excited about this: because they are supposed to last, like, 20 years. And it has this cool 3rd (top) drawer for utensils. I hear LG has the same thing, but their dishwashers don't last 20 years. So we shall see. I am very hopeful. Fingers crossed. Also, I think I should take a moment to be grateful here both that I have a job such that we have money for a such a fancy dishwasher, and also, that I get discounts on such things. Before you feel any resentment about any discount I should confide: architect discounts, which are pretty prevalent for most building supplies and appliances and finishes and even furniture, still don't balance off the cost of my architect education.

Anyway.

Have I posted about the bamboo this year? I think no. Well, this year the bamboo is pretty much exactly like I always wanted it to be. So, that only took 7 years. For years, the deck felt very exposed. Like a stage. However, the bamboo is so dense and so tall this year that in combination with our other plants and trees, you can't see anybody at all walking past, even though the sidewalk is a mere 5' away from the deck. It feels wonderfully private.

The grape vines are also doing really well. We have more grapes than we can eat. The vines are trailing up and around the playhouse. The kids trained the vines to do this. It is, in fact, pretty magical in their garden space.

I've been exhausted by work lately. It's valuable stuff I'm learning, but the pace is not sustainable. I'm not sure if it's just a learning curve, or if the office itself is simply too fast paced for me.

This weekend I made about 8 new Schultüten for my Etsy store. I just.can.not.let.go of my Etsy store, even though I have less time than ever to work on it. Also: the pay is lousy. I'm much better off doing architecture.

The problem with giving up the Etsy store is: it's mine! Even though I have an official job, I just don't get the satisfaction of ownership from the day job that I get from my Etsy store. Also, the TYPE of work that I do for the Etsy store: it's sort of mindless, so I find myself thinking about other things. It's not quite that I daydream while I sew. To be honest: it's more like I'm plotting. Plotting while I iron, plotting while I zigzag, plotting as I stab pins through the fabric. Except for the part about it being the weekend and feeling like I should be doing fun stuff with the kiddos, I feel REALLY HAPPY to be making something and to be plotting while I make. And I feel happy to be more or less working alone.

I don't quite know how to resolve this: on the one hand, I love to think about building teams and finding the perfect niche for every person. On the other hand, there are so, so, so many times when I just want to be left alone to do whatever the heck it is I want to do. My need for alone time is still so great. I feel ashamed of it. I have yet to figure out how to convey to people: "No, no, thank you, I just want to be left alone," without people looking at me like I have a contagious disease.
All the kids are back home now. There are less than two weeks until they are all in school again. I think they are ready. I've been catching them playing school with the stuffed animals. It seems that happens every summer just before school starts.