Pacing for Month-long Travel and Kid Independence

This week I've started to feel really batty about the temporary living arrangements that come with travel. I REALLY miss the ease of taking care of the kids in my own home.

The last time we visited Germany, we were a family of four (not five). We stayed for two weeks. Both Fritz and I felt it was not long enough. This time, we will be traveling (mostly in Germany) for 4 weeks. Here is the breakdown of our schedule:

3 days in Hannover (Germany)
7 days in Juist (Germany)
2 days with Oma (Germany)
3 days with friends in Aalen (Germany)
10 days with Oma (Germany)
2 days in countryside (Iceland)
2 days in Reykjavík (Iceland)

Fritz has the feeling it is the perfect length and that we paced ourselves just right. We are currently on day 7 of the 10 days with Oma. I feel like it's been a little too much time here.

The difference might be attributable to the fact that Fritz has family responsibilities to take care of while we are here with Oma. Most of those don't involve the kids and I, leaving us at loose ends. The kids are done with being in the car taking day trips. They've thoroughly traumatized Oma's fish in the pond in the yard. They're done spying on the downstairs tenant. They're craving the independence of home, but the playground is too far away to walk to alone. Noah whispers to me at night that he misses his friends. And they haven't found any neighborhood friends. They've unfortunately damaged and destroyed several adult things in Oma's house. And they're super bored. Well, Trixie is less bored. Both Noah and Mattias are quite bored. They're being fed a constant diet of sugar, of which I don't approve one bit but I have to decide between constantly fighting the host and just trying to relax and be "on vacation;" so I guess I'm conceding defeat, because who wants to spend their vacation fighting the host? Ice cream for breakfast? Sure! Why not?

I'm going to draw two conclusions:
1) One week with Oma is enough for the kids.
2) Maybe next time, Fritz should come early and spend some time here, doing whatever it is that needs to be done, while the rest of us arrive later. In the last few years, it's been very difficult for me to be alone for multiple days with the kids, so this wasn't an option. But as they get older, it's getting easier. So maybe more frequent solo trips to Germany for Fritz are in order.

Fritz doesn't want to draw any conclusions, because, he says, each time we come the kids are different ages and their needs have changed, so who knows? There's some wisdom to this perspective. Right now, Noah (8) is interested in going on tours, but Mattias (5) whines a lot about the walking and paying attention and riding in the car to get to places. Trixie (2) is happy to explore the house in her toddler-curious way, but still needs an afternoon nap (preferably not in the car seat/stroller); the boys need to run and play in large areas throughout the day.

I think we can still look at where Noah is now and have some ideas about what might work better when Mattias and Trixie are older. Primary in my mind is the question of their growing independence. To what extent does taking elementary school age children away from their friends take away their independence as well? It's really clear to me that Trixie needs mostly just her family and as long as they are by her side, she is content. But it's different for Noah. He's spent more time mourning the last days of school (that he missed) and his classmates. He's not really old enough to go off exploring on his own - I'm not ready to put him a plane and fly him across the country, or let him take a train to a nearby town – and I don't think he's ready for that kind of independence, either. But he is ready to bike around the block with his friends. He's ready to walk to the neighbor and see if the neighbor can play. He might even be ready to go over to the playground and meet someone there. That's the kind of independence he needs. It's also the kind of independence that we're missing on this trip. And it feels really apparent the longer we sit still in one place.

Festung Marienberg

Noah wanted to see castles in Germany; Fritz decided that it might be possible to teach Noah and Mattias the difference between a Schloss (more palace-like, newer) and a Burg (more fortress-like, older).

We went to the city of Würzburg, because Fritz decided the Residenz (Schloss) and the Festung (Burg) were a good comparison, but here, the translation is already getting in the way of his lesson, because neither one is called a schloss or a burg or even a castle on the signs that translate to English.

Ah-hem.

Well, I just keep my mouth shut sometimes.

What I can say about Festung Marienberg, however, is that it is impressive! It's up on a hill and you climb through no less than three super-thick walls to get inside. You definitely have the impression that this is a hard-to-reach place. Everyone has lots of energy on the first set of stairs.

Little bit of encouragement on the next set of stairs:

Somebody needs a break before the third set of stairs:

Finally, we reach the first wall. You can barely see Trixie's polka-a-dot leggings hanging over the guard rail in the photo below. But I'll tell you, that kid, she sees a wall and she's got to climb over it. She would clearly be part of the invading party.

And we walk through the first wall. It's like a tunnel.

But a tunnel with cool things like a place where bars! come down! to stab the enemy! and keep the enemy out! Mattias calls it a Gitter, which translates to English as a cage. I'm pretty sure this is not the correct term. Watch out for the Gitter, Fritz:

And a hole! in the ceiling! to pour hot water on the enemy! (There are official tours, but Fritz and I opt for telling our own improvisational version...)

On the other side of the wall? More steps!

Not everyone is so happy about it.

And into the second wall:

Now there are steps INSIDE the wall. Nifty.

On the other side, Trixie pushes Mattias in the stroller until she is tired. This is uphill, although you can't tell from the photo.

And then Noah pushes Mattias and Trixie. Handy, very handy!

And through one last wall:

And we made it!

Of course, we needed a photo against one of those walls, but I got it when they were all smiles...on the way back down.

Juist Segue

 Photo of Juist from the Wadden Sea, where the ferry arrived.

Outside our guest house. Oma joined us for the week. She's been having some problems with her knees. I think if Fritz and I had realized the extent of her mobility restrictions, we would have stayed in town. As it was, we were about 2 km from the ferry terminal, a little far for walking, given the considerations. But it was nice to surrounded by open space, especially when the tourist season kicked into gear halfway through our vacation. Within hours the town of Juist was packed! This is what a traffic jam looks like where there are no cars, only cyclists and horse-carriages:

There were so many interesting ways of getting around. I have a lot of photos of cleverly-rigged bicycles used to haul all manners of things. Noah got pretty adept at riding the adult tricycle we rented for Oma. I don't know why the two wheels are in the front. To be honest, I thought it made it more difficult to steer. But is WAS stable!

I guess this below is one of those times where you are glad something is NOT stable. The kids must have spent an hour entire hour sliding down this dune. I learned the amount of sand one can accumulate on his or her body dune surfing pales in comparison to the beach on a windy day.

The Strandkorb is great for protection against the wind. These beach chairs are iconic in German culture. But I'm not sure if I had ever seen (even a photo of one) before I lived in Germany.

You get the idea. The beach is very shallow. You can walk forever and the water still isn't past your knees. It also made collecting water for the sandcastle quite a hike.

I managed to drop my camera and break its lens for the second time in less than a year somewhere in all of this hiking. I was pretty upset. With the broken lens came the realization that I really do much better staying calm when I have a camera in my hand. You know how they say that having a camera removes you from the situation and keeps you from really being present in the moment? Well, sometimes, with three kids, I really need that distance that the camera gives me. From this point on, I usurped Fritz's camera. He is not a happy sharer, probably because I am holding onto his camera like a security blanket. Oh look! Here I let him take a photo while we went on a date with Trixie (she was holding onto me):

AND THEN, I started feeling all nervous without the camera, so I traded Trixie for the camera. (And it worked!)

We went back to the mainland by (a very small!) airplane, because of 1) mobility issues and 2) the ill-timing of high tide / ferry transit. Being in a small airplane was quite fun, but I'll confess I was also really happy to be back on the ground. It made a huge impression on the kids as well.

And that concludes the Juist portion of our vacation. Back to the car, kiddos.