Segue

Fritz and I regularly make and split a big salad for dinner. A few weeks ago, I made this Collard Greens with Freekeh salad from Sunset magazine. So yummy! (Although, in subsequent makings, I cut back on the amount oil.) Even the kids were into it; they usually pass on salads. I think it helped that cracked freekeh has an interesting backstory about a feud, fields burning, and crops saved. If you buy Bob's Red Mill brand of cracked freekeh, the story is printed on the bag. The freekeh itself was popular enough to be a new addition to our regular meals.

One of our long-standing regular meals is omelets for breakfast on the weekends. With all the chopping, it's the most time-consuming weekly food preparation that we do – and it's not accidental that it happens on the weekends and in the morning. For some reason, the kids always seem to have the most patience and the highest chance of playing together first thing in the morning. If there aren't kids hanging all over me and quarreling, I'm free(er) to chop vegetables.

I recently decided to cut my hair. Actually, I told the hairdresser to "cut it shoulder length" and demonstrated with pretend-snipping a lock of my hair at my shoulder. This is how she interpreted my words and actions.  I would say what she did is "chin length." I've tried telling other people (and myself) that it doesn't matter that she cut it shorter than I wanted. It'll grow, right? But, honestly, I'm still extremely annoyed at her a month later. In her defense, I let it air dry (no styling) in both the photos above. Still, she 1) didn't do what I wanted and 2) did a crappy job taking my hair's wave into account. I'm done with her. I've said that before about this hairdresser, but this time, I really, REALLY mean it. Remind me in about a year, okay?

Your eagle eyes probably spotted that smart phone two photos back. That's right. Now I can take photos of myself and my kids without depending on anyone else. Amazing, right? Let's just hope all my newfound abilities don't go so far to my head that I drop my expensive toy while playing with it on the chairlift. Or that I forget to blog because I'm too occupied sending images via texts to everyone I know.

Of Interest

The kids have a snow day. This year, the school has a fancy new automated phone calling system. It called us at 5:23 AM to let us know school was canceled. We might have managed to keep the kids asleep through one phone call, but the system calls ALL our phone numbers. First the land line, then my phone, then Fritz's phone. Within 10 minutes, at 5:33 AM, all three kids were awake and jumping on our bed. On a day when school was canceled.

I'm not sure what to take away from this: turn off the ringer on our phones? Or think of this as our opportunity to harness some energy for shoveling the sidewalk. In the dark.

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I recently read this article about the distance that most adult Americans live from their parents. I have long been under the impression that Americans move frequently and don't necessarily live near extended family, but this study proves otherwise. As the headline notes, fifty percent of Americans live within 18 miles of their parents. We live 2,000 miles from my parents and 5,000 miles from Fritz's parents. I'm pretty sure that puts us in the 99th percentile.

The article explores how this affects women, caregivers, and careers, or lack thereof. This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I feel strongly that our distance from a grandchild/grandparent support system has had a huge impact on my ability do anything other than caregiving.

***

I also can't stop quoting this recent study by the Violence Policy Center. In my home state, gun deaths are more common than automobile deaths. This is true in 21 states, check it out.

Death, Presence

My uncle passed away shortly after the New Year. Since being diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma three years ago, it's been an intense journey.

As of late, I've spent a lot of time at my aunt's home, going through old photos and listening to stories about their life together. I feel really lucky to be able to be here with her at this time: to be able to sit and listen to the stories on Tuesday and then, once again, on Wednesday, when we find the same photo in a new place. I say this with absolute sincerity.

So much of my life has been spent living far away from my family. Deaths in my family, up until now, have been largely a fly-in, see everyone, fly-out process. I'm not entirely sure how that sounds. Cold? Harsh? Like there hasn't been a lot of death? Enviable? My world as a child, and for many years thereafter, was strongly colored by always living far away from extended family. Familial relationships were not really about being present in the everyday, ordinary world. Familial relationships were more like a status for a special event. In many regards, I've really missed the informality of the ordinary and everyday. Even though this has been a sad period of time (and for all of us) I really appreciate being able to be present and the intimacy that has come with it.