Monday, January 31, 2011

More Sleeping, Better Sleeping, Longer Sleeping

Mattias' sleeping hasn't improved (at all) since I vowed to work on his sleeping. I think I'm having the some of the same problems I had with Noah.

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First of all, I get this idea in my head that there is a Solution and I simply haven't stumbled across It yet, therefore, I keep trying new things. That's a little spastic, and not so sleep-inducing, don't you think?

Then, I become really obsessed with if only(s). If only Mattias would sleep longer, I could clean the kitchen.  If only Mattias would sleep more, he'd play so much better with Noah. If only Mattias would sleep better, I could carry the ten loads of washed-and-folded laundry up the two flights of stairs! That's the single-minded, goal-oriented, obsessive Ann emerging. She doesn't help relax the situation, either.

Next, I start thinking there must be some undiagnosed medical condition. Way back when, in Munich, I asked Noah's/our (German) pediatrician about this. The pediatrician looked at me carefully and said, "Well, you look okay."

Um. In case you didn't catch that: I! Me! Yours truly! was supposed to LOOK sufficiently tired for Noah's sleeping to be a problem. I was a new mother and I was Outraged! (In retrospect, I find this a lot less offensive and a lot more funny.)

Shortly thereafter, we found a new pediatrician. Because I was Outraged.

And I waited a couple of months before I begged Fritz to ask the new pediatrician about Noah's (still) miserable sleeping.

"You have to ask because if I-the-mother ask, she might not take me seriously."

"You have to ask because if I-the-NON-german-speaker ask, she might not understand."

"You have to ask because if I-the-woman ask, the answer might just be another commentary on my makeup!"

Off went Fritz to the pediatrician with little Noah in tow. And the answer came back that little Noah was just fine. And the pediatrician? Well, she was wise. Here's the message she gave to Fritz:

Parents often believe that how well their child sleeps is a measure of their abilities as parents.
It's not.
It will get better.

And with Noah, it did get better. He's a great sleeper now. And not because I found the Solution, but because it simply, eventually, finally happened.

Well, he could wake up a little later than 6:30 AM, but I'm not really complaining.

So, with Mattias, I'm trying to relax a little bit. It will be okay. It will.

1 comment:

Pregnantly Plump said...

The sleeping thing is so hard. I vowed with Baby Plum to do a better job, and then he got an ear infection at 3 months and I completely fell off the wagon. He slept with us while sick and after that he only wanted to sleep with us. He fought his bassinet and crib big time. But he's getting a lot better. He naps more easily and sleeps more easily. He's 16 months now. Little Elvis fought me until he was about 2, I think.