You may remember that last year, we found ourselves thinking about moving back to Germany. It was an exciting prospect, but also one that gave me a lot of pause. I felt that moving back to Germany was probably 1) good for the family 2) good for Fritz's career and 3) NOT good for the prospect of me returning to a professional life. I was doing a lot of soul searching about what I want to be doing in my life. And for how long. After years of being too inundated with the responsibilities of the children and running a household, it is/was truly a gift to be able to think about myself.
(You know how marketers always talk about Self Care? I think, sure, that's important. But for many people, at many points in their life, self care is not an option. Maybe you are taking care of dying relative. Maybe you have a newborn in the house and no second set of hands. Maybe you have a sick friend to watch over. Maybe you have multiple children who are your responsibility. Maybe you are financially stretched. In these situations, you really don't just go schedule a manicure. In these situations the act of self care can actually be more damaging to your soul than it is good, as much as you know intellectually that you need a break. So you just do what needs to be done, stay focused, and trust that it too shall pass.... Consider yourself lucky if you have never experienced this state.)
What really came from all my soul-searching is that answer that Yes! I want to go back to work! Disentangling myself from enough of my daily childcare responsibilities so that I can has been a drawn-out process over the last year. I am still working through the chaos that comes with switching to a new system AND working through the reality of finding a job. In light of all the changes, I find myself in desperate need of reflection time. Which is why I'm back here blogging. I can't promise to blog about everything going on, but hopefully, I can find a nice space between refining my thoughts, being semi-interesting, and oversharing.