My aunt's yoga instructor tells her that Mercury is in retrograde. My aunt relates this information to me on the phone, when she calls me. The conversation begins, "Ann... I just read the morning paper..."
I don't follow astrology, I never have. Do I believe in these things? No. But when I hear the phrase it sticks in my head. I find myself reciting the words. Mercury in retrograde. Mercury in retrograde. It sounds like a composition. A symphonic composition? A painterly composition, perhaps? Maybe the words make a very heavy situation feel lighter? Mercury in Retrograde started July 14th and it ends August 8th. It will end, I tell myself, a sudden doubt in my own disbelief.
To say that life has been difficult the last two weeks is an understatement. We are all okay. And not okay. Those of us who are older are off-balance, shaken, and upset. We have no sense of humor and very little ability for small talk. As much as possible, we're focused on protecting the little ones. This focus grounds us.
I apologize for posting in this vague, circumspect, and indirect manner. I want to be honest and open, I want to share more, but I don't believe now is the time. I've debated saying nothing but I feel like it undermines my blogging intent to hide something that is affecting us so personally. Also, maybe just telling you that we're not fully okay right now is enough that you'll forgive my absence.