Kreislaufkollapse: collapse of the circulation system
Living in Munich, my American friends and I couldn't stop joking about this common German ailment. In Germany, a good bout of Kreislaufkollapse will easily get you a doctor's note requiring a week off from work. But really, a collapse of the circulation system? Shouldn't that get you a one-way ticket out? I mean, shouldn't you be dead? What is this imaginary illness?
Americans don't have imaginary ailments like that, I told Fritz.
The last few nights, Noah has woken up crying. "His legs hurt," Fritz frowns as he reports this to me. "I rubbed and rubbed his legs, but it didn't go away; it must not be in the muscle."
"Oh... growing pains," I say. If I close my eyes, I can almost feel growing pains from my own childhood. The sharp throbbing in my legs. Crying. My mother sitting on the side of my bed in the middle of the night. The memories of growing pains are more vivid than two unmedicated childbirths. I don't know if that's because of the magnitude of growing pains or the power of childbirth-forgetting hormones.
"Growing pains?" says Frtiz. "What's that?"
"Didn't you get pains in your legs when you were little?"
Oh. Erm. Hmmm.
I google growing pains and discover the actor who played Boner on the 80s sitcom-of-the-same-name went missing last year.
Okay. Somebody out there tell me that you, too, had growing pains. Is this an imaginary American ailment? Please tell me that I'm not imagining things! (You can comment anonymously if you're worried about joining Noah and me in the Circle of Those with Imaginary Ailments.)