Sunday, January 9, 2011

When Mommy is a girl

Seven months ago, after having LONG hair for a LONG time, I cut my hair. Mattias was 2 months old, Noah was just 3.  I really needed a change.

I'd read that changing your hair can be traumatic for very young babies. So when I went from very long hair to very short hair, I was prepared for Mattias to "not recognize" me.

Mattias didn't have any problems with the change.  Noah did.  He immediately began asking me why I was a boy now.

"Mommy, I liked you when you were a girl."

We hadn't talked much about differences between boys and girls. Since both the piccolini are boys, the conversation (still) hasn't come up very often.  Also, gender stereotyping is something I've really tried to de-emphasis.  After all, our traditional family with a SAHM and bread-winning father is enough of a stereotype for me.  Why dwell on it anymore?

The only explanation for Noah's reaction was that he had learned girls-have-long-hair and boys-have-short-hair at preschool.

School is ALWAYS the culprit.

Seven months and two haircuts later, Noah continues to ask when I will be a girl again.

I'm still enjoying short hair. I've grown it out just a tad, I've spent some time getting it styled in a way that I like a little better than that first photo above.  I'd like to keep it shorter.  I think.

But Noah's persistance on Mommy "being a girl again" is starting to get to me. I'm just not sure on what level it's bothering me.

Do I need to address the issue of gender more directly with Noah?  Or do I secretly want to grow my hair long again?


Pregnantly Plump said...

I like the short hair! We had an opposite issue. Little Elvis' hair was usually chin length with sweet curls, and even though he was dressed like a boy (blue, red or orange with trucks or cars on it) people would often assume he was a little girl until I told them he was a boy. I think he must have received similar comments from the kids at school, because he was so thrilled when we cut his curls off.

Diana said...

I have to share this: last night, my youngest son was watching me dry my hair. his eyes went wide as he exclaimed: du mama äh frau? (mom, you are a woman?). wow, he finally understood - and it was the long hair blowing in the wind...

Ann Wyse said...


Swistle said...

My youngest, age 3.5., embarrassed the LIVING HECK out of me by asking me loudly why a certain long-haired, male, music-store employee had "girl hair." He has also asked loudly whether certain short-haired female clerks are boys or girls (why does he never ask this about the short-haired male clerks?). He wanted to know this too about his short-haired grandmother. APPALLING. Sadly, he does not attend preschool.